Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I'm PREGNANT & I'll CRY if I want to!

4:55 the alarm goes off...  Bailey and I are out the door 5:08!  We do our morning walk with fellow Preggo Val.  Come home, take a shower, and then somehow this morning, I ended up back in bed!  :)  This BIG GIRL was tired!

6:20 Bailey is doing her little bark in the laundry room.  I knew she put her ball somewhere where she couldn't get to it.  So, I called her in our room and asked her to please go lay down.  Which she did... SO I THOUGHT!!!

6:45 I finally decide that it is REALLY time to get up AGAIN!  I am dressed and walking into my closet when I feel a dampness underneath my right foot???  Beeper cleaned the carpet yesterday, so at first I thought it must be a place that hadn't dried yet.  I continued to feel around with my feet trying to see if anymore of the carpet was wet... ODD just in that one place.  I make my way down to the floor (which is a task) and decide to use my BIG SNIFFER!  OMG  it is TT, PEE, TINKLE, or whatever cutie little name YOU call it!  SUPER, I have URINE all over my feet and now in my BIG SNIFFER!  Who let their dog in my house to do this... because BAILEY BOO is perfect (besides her gorged anal glands) and would NEVER do something like this!  

At this point, I am NOT HAPPY to say the least, because I am discovering that my dog has lost her mind and did her business on my CLEAN carpet... and it's no where near the door, therefore I know this wasn't a accident.  After making enough noise, Beep gets up mad and looking for Bailey. SHOOOOOT...  Bailey is out underneath Kingston's bed (her newest place to crash!)  That girl doesn't know anything is going on.  Beeper then calls her out from underneath, saying "WHAT DID YOU DO?"  He walks her over to "the SPOT" and then begins to scold.  She has NO IDEA what she is in trouble for... now I am NOT MAD anymore I am SAD, because she doesn't know why Beeper is getting on to her.  She did this hours ago.  So, I scoop her up, take her into the living room, and turn into the Dog Whisperer... telling her that she knows better... BLAH BLAH BLAH!  Oh, but then $#*T hit the fan...

After our talk, I was walking back to the bedroom, when I saw the dress that I wore yesterday out of the laundry basket and on the floor.  I slowly walked up to it like it was a python that was going to strike at any moment... I lifted it up with my fingertips and then I saw it!  My four-legged-little-friend had EATEN a whole in my dress!  "WHAT THE HELL?"  She has OFFICIALLY lost her MIND!!!

GET OUT OF MY WAY...  I grabbed the dress and came barreling down the hall shaking it... oh and I should mention, at this point PREGGO is having a EMOTIONAL breakdown!  Tears are going EVERYWHERE!  Beeper comes running out of the bedroom... I'm sure that he thought I was in labor!  Nope, just have a dress with NO BACKSIDE!  

I am LIVID at Bailey...  Then Beeper, who was just throwing a fit over her "tt episode" says to me "it is okay Amanda, it is not a big deal!"  OH NO, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, thing to say!  My "RAGE" took an awful shift... it moved from Bailey... to BEEPER!!! :(  In my mind I didn't understand why he didn't want to BEAT HER after what she had done... he was more worried about carpet... THAT WE COULD CLEAN! I had LOST it... at this point it was way past time to take my CRAZY EMOTIONAL self to school.

I cried all the way to school... Thinking that my perfect little Bailey is basically acting out due to Mr. Kingston's arrival.  Cried because my dress was now TRASH.  Cried because I TOTALLY lost my marbles on Beep.  Then I cried because I looked like POO! I'm telling ya "IT WAS BAD!"

10:15 Lil Kraus walks in my room... I am puzzled!  He has a sack...  My PRINCE went to MOTHERHOOD and bought me "THE DRESS" and a slice of cookie cake to go with it! I don't care who you are... NOW THAT IS SWEET!  Melted my heart and then I was crying all over again... (can't wait to be TUFF again) He made my day!  :)  I was Happy!

11:15 I called Beep to tell him how much it meant to me, what he had done!  I could barely hear him... so I said "where are you?"  He said, "Oh I am eating with Jeff!"  I was thinking "oh man... I would much rather be with him, eating out, then eating this microwave pizza!"  I then said "Oh that is fun,  I just hope that you aren't eating Gonzalo's!" All I could hear was SILENCE!  (Oh yeah that's where he was)  Poor Beep... I know he was thinking "DAMNIT I can't catch a break!"  

Just an FYI: Not only am I  PSYCHO, I am a PSYCHIC! :)

I haven't been sick these past 9 months, and that is a true blessing, BUT I HAVE had some kind of BI*POLAR MOOD SWINGS!  Beeper has seen me turn into a crazy women at times, and he is ALWAYS trying to make life easier and  better for me!  I know that I don't have to tell you this, but I am so LUCKY to have such a UNDERSTANDING and LOVING husband!

 "SHMILY Beeper Kraus!"       

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's been way too long... time to catch up!

Alrighty, let's back it on up...  
My PT family threw me and Mr. Kingston one AMAZING shower!  I really do work for the best school in PINE TREE ISD - the PRIMARY ROCKS!  I am so blessed to have such great people to work with!  Nothing, is better than to be able to say that I work with "ALL MY FRIENDS!"  What is better than that people?  Notta - Nothing!
Mr. Kingston was hooked up with everything that he could imagine and possibly need!  He is going to be one SPOILED little dude!  Would we have it any other way?  I want to thank everyone again that helped make my shower so special, and personable.  I am one lucky preggo chick... :) 
After the shower, my cousin came in town from good ole' Whitesboro, Texas.  She is such a HOOT,  and there is NEVER a dull moment when Angela is around.  
We were sitting up in Mr. Kingston's room looking at all his new stuff  when I noticed my precious Bailey doing something TOTALLY DISGUSTING!  Good Gosh, she was dragging her butt on my floor!  Umh... What the hell?  I immediately yelled, "Bailey Kraus what are you doing?" (Guess what... she didn't answer!)  Anywho, I was thinking great just what we need... our dog to have WORMS ALL UP IN HER BOOTY! As I am freaking out... because Bailey has NEVER done this before, Angela is laughing hysterically saying, "Oh my gosh she just needs YOU to squeeze her anal gland!"  Uh-Do-WHAT?  ANAL GLAND?  SQUEEZED?  And you think that I am going  to do it? Ha... You must BE CRAZY!!!
Needless to say, I thought that this was a STINKY joke until she said that she would do 
it.  Naturally I said, "okay let's go outside, I will get you some toilet paper and GLOVES!"   So, there we were sitting on the deck... I'm held Bailey (who didn't even have a clue how she is about to be TOTALLY VIOLATED!)  and that's when it happened!  A "TOXIN" emerged from my "lil brown dog" a SMELL that NO ONE should ever have to inhale.  My eyes began to water... and my nose was burning!  Ahhhh... I was outside and still couldn't get away from that FUNKY STENCH!  
What's worse is Angela then says... "Good LORD , I didn't even get all of it... there is MORE in there!"  OMG we have to do it AGAIN?  Are you kidding me?  I gagged my way through it and then began to laugh hysterically as Bailey looked at me as if saying, "See I was just trying to drag that Nasty $*#t out of me...LITERALLY!"  She was relieved and unharmed... as for me on the other hand my eyes and nose will NEVER be the same!  
So, now her ANAL gland is filling back up... and NO I will not be going ANYWHERE near her little tan booty!  The next time that she will be relieved is when "VETERINARIAN ANGELA" comes back in town to "Get her Squeeze on!"  
Last weekend was Aidan Cain's 7th birthday! I can't believe how big my little cousins are getting! I mean,  I still call my cousin Baby Paige and she is 9 years old!  :)  It's just insane how fast they, WE, all grow up!  I am going to have to come up with a way to freeze time when Mr. Kingston gets here.  
Needless to say, we had a lot of fun celebrating and just hanging out.  There really isn't anything better then being with your FAMILY, where you are FREE to be YOU and they don't mind when your BIG BABY BELLY hangs out! :)  Love ya'll!!!